Rich Little Poor Girl

Again and Again.

Miss.Jenee — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 20:09:10 +0000

Reblogged from She's Just Not That In To You:

I could be totally and absolutely wrong about this assumption, but I think, and even more so, I hope (so I’m not alone in this) that we all have that person that we just can’t quit. This came to mind for a couple of reasons, including, but not limited to: Rihanna’s video for We Found Love, stories from friends relationships and well…my life. So, it got me thinking, what the F is really good? I don’t mean like that one off time that you hooked up with your ex when you were drunk or just lonely. …

Such a Good Post!

Kids..

Miss.Jenee — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 19:10:24 +0000

I remember when I was 12, I had this great vision of my life at 25. I would be married, with no kids, my own business of some sort and teaching little children. Boy was I wrong. At 25, I still didn’t want kids but teaching was no where in my realm. I was just laid off my corporate job, a significant other was no where in site and I lived at home with my mom and siblings. Not to great of a life at 25. But I had great girlfriends, great family and I loved my life. Not what I expected, but great non the less.

So as I get ready to enter my 30s my life is looming before me, for the first time ever, I have decided I wanted children, not just for my sake, but for the sake of whomever I may one day marry. Call that unselfish of me but hell that’s life and hell that’s me. I am selfless in most aspects. I would much rather give my husband a baby than it just be the two of us forever. and ever.

I read the Baby Sitter’s Club books, I even watched “Don’t tell Mom the Baby Sitter’s Dead” but I never actually wanted a baby, or to be a baby sitter. I remember very vividly in the 11th grade how my Home Economics teacher gave us a baby to take home. I put that baby on the steps in the basement and closed the door. It cried all night till my sister went to take care of it. lol Needless to say I wasn’t trying to have a baby any time soon. I’m impatient, I have bad nerves and I don’t like to hear all the complaining kids do.

I remember the 1st time I baby sat my little cousins, they cried and wanted food. Although I have always been the consummate “help”. I clean and cook for everyone around me but actually “caring” for a child has never been my thing. But the look in my baby cousin’s face when he said “Wexs” soothed my soul. I cooked him some chicken, let him watch cartoons, played a couple games and off to sleep he went. hmmm “this is easier than I thought” WRONG!

Before I had begun to lay my head down, this kids starts screaming at the top of his lungs. Little did I know, he hated the dark, was scared of the dark and I had scarred this kid of life

This

Was

Hard

After that my baby sitting duties were few and far between. Not too many of my aunts and cousins have children, so I truly believe God was looking after me when he blessed me with no more kids in our family for me to baby sit.

So now as I near closer to 30, I am always around kids, my godkid, my friends kids, just kids everywhere. And I’m constantly reminded that kids make you less selfish, more secure, happier and overall a better person.

So yes I think I want a kid

ONCE I’m married of course..

Spiritual Maturity

Miss.Jenee — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:38:00 +0000

When we were younger, we were taught to say our prayers, thank God, Be kind to our parents, go to church and not to sin. But the older we get we have to realize that growing with God isn’t just about those things. The older we get the more we have to realize that God functions through our worship. How can God’s kingdom grow if we don’t share his good news.

I know. I know. I know. The whole thing about walking up to a stranger and talking to them about God seems strange. We run away from The Jehovah Witnesses when they come knocking on our doors. But I’m not necessarily talking about those who are strangers. I’m talking about those inside our own homes, the ones we text/call the most, the ones we share friendships with and yes our family members.

Spiritual Maturity is about going beyond just praying for our neighbors, it is when we HELP our neighbors, when we pray for specific things in the life of our family and friends. Spiritual maturity is about tithing and not worrying about it because all of it belongs to God anyway. Spiritual maturity is about moving on and understanding what God is trying to teach us at this time in our lives. Spiritual maturity is about obeying our Calling from God and doing whatever it takes to get there because our faith gives us Spiritual Maturity is about no longer blaming others for your failures but trying to figure out what we need to do to get to the next step in our lives.

I’ve learned a lot in the past few years but I have such a long way to go. I have found my calling in evangelism but I am so unsure where God is trying to push me to go with it. I have embraced new relationships and closed others, I have learned to trust God when there is nothing left to do. But what I have learned most is to be specific. Specific in my prayers even when they go unanswered, specific in my desires and needs and specific in my plans. I’ve learned more scriptures by heart and their specific passages and I’ve learned that giving to others isn’t so bad, its what I’m called to do.

So today, while you are searching your heart for answers I urge you to be specific in your desires, don’t just pray for shelter and clothing and food. God’s always got your back for that, but pray for exactly what you want, exactly what it is going to take you to get there and what you need to change in order to progress. Don’t worry if the change doesn’t come immediately, just keep praying for your desires. If your desires are God’s desires they will come, if not God has something better in store. I’m learning that myself, but I’m yet holding on.

Love, Peace and Blessings..

Miss. Jenee,

An Ode to My Beau

Miss.Jenee — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 19:32:40 +0000

The day I first laid eyes on him, I got immersed, in those big brown eyes and caramel skin. His smile was flawless and dimples, were so deep that I felt like my soul could get lost in them. In my dream he looked his eclectic style. The energy from me to him radiated to a place that only God could have given us at that moment. His magnetic field was so strong, it pushed us together in a way that only science could explain. His touch was so sweet, I felt like he had swept me off my feet. But what was this feeling, love, lust or just a longing to be touched. Was it a temporary feeling or was it all being rushed? Was I a flower being plucked or a volcano about to erupt?

“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart”

Valentine’s Day.. .Every Day the 14th

Miss.Jenee — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:07:21 +0000

I’ll never forget my first “Real” Valentine’s Day. I was 16 and my boyfriend was in college. Although he was in college, I don’t think it ever felt like I was dating someone in college because he was always around. But needless to say its the one that I REMEMBER the most. Valentines Day was on a school night, so he called my mom and asked her could he take me out. When he picked me up I had no idea where we were going but I was more than excited. He was in college but worked as a DJ, I didn’t have a job so I wasn’t sure how far his budget would go to surprise me. But he exceeded every expectation. When we pulled up at the Universoul Circus I almost cried. If you know me, you know I love the circus. As a child, my parents took us to Ringling Brothers EVERY year, my brother was actually born during the time of the circus and instead of us missing it, my grandparents took us to the Circus while my mom was in labor! But, when I got older and found out about the BLACK Circus, I was floored! There was a black circus? With all black people? No way?! lol I’m not sure how much he spent but im sure it was alot of a college student lol. It was amazing. Then when we left the circus, he pulled out a Helzberg Diamonds box and in it was a ring with my birthstone. Ok the waterworks began. Anybody that knows me knows I used to collect birthstone rings from childhood. All in all that probably has been the best Valentines Day. On the way home, we stopped at Wendy’s and ate dinner (I mean he was in college and I didn’t care if it was Wendy’s or McDonalds he made that day special) He brought me home and I was in the clouds for days.

So often we forget that Valentine’s day is not just about the gifts but going above and beyond for the people you care about. I would have been satisfied with flowers and candy especially given his budget, but he KNEW me, he LISTENED to me and he LOVED me enough to surprise me. Often times we get so caught up in the things that we forget what matters most.

My mother preached a sermon this week on Love and the most significant part of the sermon to me was about the marriage of slaves. The statistics in America show that more and more black mothers are having babies out of wedlock and that overall black love is fading away but I totally believe like my mother said, its time to take back black love! The slaves were not allowed to marry because the slave masters did not believe in it especially because at any time a slave could be traded away from his wife and children. However, slaves would go to their church and get married. How is it that our forefathers fought for marriage but we are so against it? How is it that people say “She’s too young to get married” but say its ok for her to have a child?

I may not be in love on this Valentine’s Day or have an extravagant evening plan but I know that the greatest thing is the world is Love, our world is better because we Love, the people in our families grow when we show them love. So my challenge to you today is to show Love, not the ordinary flowers and candy love, but show the people around them that you love them. Fight for real love. Fight marriage and pray for marriage. It’s God’s desire for our lives.

Xoxo

Jenee

Is The Church in the Wild or Are We all individual Churches in The Wild?

Miss.Jenee — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 16:35:25 +0000

People that know me, Know that I am not a huge rap fan. I think the last rap CD I bought was TI’s “King” Although, I love TIP, JEEZY and almost every Atlanta, artist only because I like the beat, not because I take the rap about drugs and women seriously. It’s all kid of repetitive and annoying to me and lacks so much substance.

But something (I call it the Holy Spirit) led me to listen to “Church in the Wild” by Kanye West and Jay-Z. I listened to the song 3 times, looked at the lyrics and lightbulbs started to go off. Are all people individual “churches” merely existing and idolizing/worshipping our own “God’s” or is the church a part of the “wild” in the world. Has our life been literally made us animals living in this wild of life, without having any divine purpose. What are we allowing our offspring to believe in? Are we becoming a generation of wildly animals who are merely worshipping and idolizing ourselves, our music and even our churches?

I wonder, how we idolize so much but then wonder why in the world we gain the world but loose our soul? Then we wonder why we are out in the world killing each other? What do we even believe anymore?

Where is the soul of our future? What do we honestly believe in? Do we even care about our environment, our neighbors, our family? Or are we all just worshipping our shoes and clothes and cars?

Kanye said in the song “What’s a God to a non-believer” then he said “We formed a new religion. No sins as long as there’s permission”

We have created our own religions and justified our sins and our misdoings through our own beliefs and sometimes through the bible.

It also got me thinking about what John Lennon said a long time ago “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity. I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong”

What was John Lennon saying here? What is Kanye West and Jay-Z saying? Did they stop believing in organized religion and create their own, do they love God? Is Rock and Roll or Rap a God? I’m compelled to say yes, in spite of my beliefs because we all justify our own personal theologies. What is God trying to tell us as “believers”? Is Christianity Dying or are we as a generation of believers choosing to worship other Gods?

So who do we believe in? Who is our God? When there is so much that we worship, how can we ask our “God” to save us? Just because someone chooses not to believe in your “God” does it make them “Godless” or “Satanic” ? How can we praise and worship so many things by removing “God from it”

I thought there was only one God? But do we all have our own God’s?

SOMETHING To think about..

Open your mind to the reality of the world we are living in. My beliefs are only as big as my church. My beliefs are only as strong as I make them. I believe in the trinity, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. But who am I to say that those who see God as Allah are not worthy of God’s love. That they don’t operate under the same Trinity that I do.

I believe we all have to chose who we will serve in our lives. Yes, I love things, yes I love to make money, yes I love music. But I serve God, I believe Jesus is the Messiah, Jesus saved me from eternal sins. He allows me to receive the blessings of this world. Not because I deserve them, not because I have to get them but because that is his pledge to me because I BELIEVE. Are you willing to give up what you love for who you love? Are we willing to give up our money and our time to make God happy? Or do we even care anymore about pleasing God? Yes we pray, yes we thank God for our blessings but do we give enough our time to edify his life?

Chose ye this day, whom will you serve!

Peace

Miss. Jenee

Thought For The Day

Miss.Jenee — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 13:56:22 +0000

I may not be someone’s first choice. But God told me that I am a great choice. I may not be a millionairess but my wisdom ad value are worth more than rubies and diamonds. I don’t pretend to be someone I am not, because I am great at being me. I may not be proud of some of the things that I have done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today because God has granted me peace beyond all understanding. I may not be perfect, but Jesus died, so I wouldn’t need to be. Take me as I am, or watch me walk away, because I am wonderfully made!

*Please note, I am taking a brief social network break*

Jenee

Prayer.. The Answer to Our Prayers..

Miss.Jenee — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 14:19:17 +0000

Sometimes I wonder if I am praying right. I know that for the longest time people always say you come to God as your friend and just talk to him. But I also found out in my maturity that you have to be specific with your prayers. Saying “Lord I need a job” is NOT the same as saying “Lord, please provide me with a job I will excel in, a job that I love, a job that will enlarge my territory, a job that will provide peace and comfort in my life, a job that will provide for my needs both financially and emotionally, a job designed JUST for me, not just a job Lord but a career that will enrich my purpose and show my true gifts” You can’t just ask God for any job, because once you get that job, it may not be the job you had wished for.

As we mature in our faith, we have to know that praying and asking God for things is not merely about us, it is about how what God is going to bless us with through our prayers will uplift the kingdom of God. Have you been praying but receiving no answers? While you pray do you reduce the noise and influence around you? Are you specific in your prayers? Are you praying with the thoughts in mind that you are asking for somethings that you need that will help you towards your purpose? Pray with a steadfast hope. If you are struggling with your prayer life and what to say read Lamentations 3. Before we start to complain, pray and ask God to bless someone else in our lives that is going through a worse situation.

Sweet Holy Jesus, Sweet Heavenly Dove,

I pray that your spirit of comfort encompasses the brother or sister reading this blog. I pray that your arms of protection cover them from hurt harm or danger. I pray that the very thing that each one of the readers are asking for God that you show them direction in their prayer life. God if its a job they are seeking, provide them with a job that will use their gifts and will provide for their needs. If its a change in atmosphere God, show them the beauty in their current situation and help them to see the best is yet to come. Lord God, if its redemption, God I ask that you give them peace like a river, you give them your sweet holy spirit to watch them as they pray for peace that encompasses all understanding God. And God I pray for those in dire need of love, financial breakthroughs, transportation issues, that you give them the desires of their heart Lord, that you show favor in their lives so they will be able to see your face.

In Your Son Jesus Christ Name

Miss. Jenee

Birthday’s Always Bring Reflection

Miss.Jenee — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 07:02:37 +0000

Tuesday August 9th was my birthday. Each year as I get closer to 30, my mind always looks back to when I was 18. Freshwoman year of college, I thought I literally had everything under control. Boy was I wrong. Almost 10 years later. I sit and reflect about all the things I had planned on doing by now.

1. Graduate Degree…. Not CLOSE and not in the immediate future

2. Married… no where near it.. cause I’m Super Duper Single..

3. Living in a house that I own… Close but not close enough..

4. Driving a Luxury Vehicle…. umm yeah about that.. lol long story

5. Making over $70k… lol.. what was I thinking..

I may not like that I don’t make a lot of money, but the fact that I do something I love keeps me happy. Although I have to work 1000 other jobs and hustles to make my standard of living. I am assured that one day God will grant me with a career that I love and get paid well to do it. Once upon a time I did make a substantial amount of money and HATED my job. So while I love my job I won’t complain until it is time for me to move on.

Being single doesn’t bother me much either because for once I’ve learned to be alone and love it. I take myself out alone all the time and it has shown me that I can be alone and LOVE it!

What bothers me out of the entire goals by 30 list is the “what if’s” What if I had stayed with him? What if I had fought for once in my life? What if I had went straight to graduate school in the middle of this economic depression? What if I would have stayed in NC? What if I had never accepted my calling?

I remember I met someone 2 years ago almost to the week. It happened so fast. My mom told me it was moving to fast, but me being the lover that I am, I didn’t listen. Maybe because I saw him being a different breed of man. #1 he persued me. I invited everyone to come to church for my birthday that year and although he had only known me through mutual friends and social networks. He came to church, he came to my birthday parties that year. I even caught myself being googly eyed about him and I barely knew him. We started a serious relationship immediately after my birthday. For the 1st time I had someone who I thought loved me flaws and all, then everything came crashing down, what he wanted (namely kids) I wasn’t sure I wanted. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth closed and not have been so opinionated about things, but being the Leo that I am I always had to let everything be known.

You see, as as I get older I realize that there aren’t many times in life you really fall in love. I’m the type that if someone does me wrong I drop them and never look back. Just ask my college boyfriend. lol I’ve only been in love with 2 people in my lifetime. We will call my 2nd love. Purple. Please don’t expect this to be a comparison of my 2 loves. Both are drastically different.

But Purple, he had me at hello. Literally. I never knew he paid that much attention to me and as time went on, I found out that we had much more in common than I cared to recognized. The one thing I loved about Purple more than anything was that he was supportive of me, that he was kind to me, that I would literally rush home, so that we could be together that night. It was the type of love I yearned for in my life. The type of love that we all wish we could have in our life time.

To this day I still love him. Even though the whole “in love” and “love” come up often in my thoughts of him because face it, we don’t just stop loving someone after we break up with the. But, Sometimes I wonder if we can ever get that love back, that love that we first have with someone. That love that makes you weak and that makes you wear something special because you know they will be there, that makes you skip hanging out with your girls, to spend time with them. The love you tell all of your friends about. The love that Years later, the only man you even talk about to them is him lol.

It’s hilarious but with each year, I wonder over and over, was he my “great love” ? Maybe I’m just naive to think that after all this time, I could still love him and he could still love me. I’ve learned to be able to express my emotions and feelings over the past few years. Before I would just bottle them up and not express them until I just blew up..

But now as each birthday passes I realize how very fragile I am. How constantly getting rejected and ignored by the one person you thought cared about you can do to your already weak spirit. Advice to my sistahs: love yourself enough to know when to move on. Love yourself enough to love someone. Love yourself enough to recognize when someone is using you and love yourself enough to know that you are a rare gem! God loves you and no one defines your worth, not a man, not a family member, not even your net worth.

Lauren Hill said it best when she said “I loved real, real hard once, but the love wasn’t returned. Found out the man I’d die for wasn’t even concerned. “

I wish that I could get those days back and cherish them more. But I know its all a part of God’s bigger plan. With each passing year, I know that God has something bigger and greater in store for me. With expanding my ministry and various businesses. With getting married to the man of my dreams, with having a kid or two. living in a house that I own and making above and beyond the amount of income I had planned to make.

I’ve learned that my mistakes make me human. That my prayers keep me going and that my family keeps me grounded. I’ve learned that although you may love someone, they may never forgive you and may never allow you to love them because they have no clue what it really means to be loved. I’ve learned that true love always returns if its supposed to and that the person God has ordained for me to be with, is waiting for me just as I am waiting for him. I’ve realized that being away from people makes it so much easier to think clearly.

The most important thing I have learned is that although I am single, I am never alone. I’ve learn to TRUST God for big things even when they seem so far away! God has set me apart for a reason. I’m rare because God wants me to be that way. I pray that everything I do uplift the Kingdom of God in a special way. A delay is not a denial!

Proverbs 3:5- “Trust the Lord, with all your heart and Lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your paths”

God be in my thoughts, so my mind will cease to wander. God be in my dreams, so I don’t lose touch with heaven

God be in my emptiness; that I may cease to hunger . God be in my silence, that I may hear Your voice.

Lord I will trust you.. Thank you

After All that I have been through, I still have JOY! This joy I have, the world didn’t give it to me and the World can NEVER take it away!

STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM!!!

Miss.Jenee — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:39:02 +0000

Listen to these Stories and Tell Me WHICH One you Prefer:

Man and Woman marry. They have 4 children and continue marriage for 30 years. Man cheats and marries woman he cheats on wife with. Woman NEVER remarries and lives with resentment her ENTIRE life for what she believes he did to her. Creating stress for the 4 children.

Man and Woman marry, they have 4 beautiful children, man cheats on wife and marries the woman he cheats on wife with. 1st Wife, moves on, gets married to her 2nd husband and although there is initial tension, the woman moves on and still is friendly to her 1st husband and his wife.

My name is Jenee and I have been cheated on. Not once, not twice, but multiple times. Did I die from it, No. Did I learn from it, HELL YES! Women we have to STOP playing the Victim. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST NOR THE LAST TO GET CHEATED ON!!!

Just because he/she cheated does not make you LESS of a woman. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE IF IT WAS, HE WOULDN’T HAVE CHEATED. People cheat because they are selfish, PERIOD. Not because you did something wrong, not because you didn’t do enough. What they lay down and do is between them, God and that other person. Be HAPPY THAT they did and you found out so that you can find someone who CARES AND LOVES you enough to not cheat on you. Since when did a relationship define who you are as a woman, a mother as a FRIEND. I usually don’t comment on Reality TV because I don’t care enough but the episode of The Braxton’s literally HURT my HEART. Because I have seen and been a living example of the life that The Braxton’s lived.

Initially I didn’t want to talk about it, because truth is, it still hurts to think about it, but I pray that this story will help some woman MOVE ON and LIVE HER LIFE!

Janine and Logan were married for 15 years, they met each other at a young age, got married and decided to have children. During the course of their relationship, Logan was unfaithful to Janine multiple times. Logan and Janine filed for divorce knowing that their children’s lives would be forever changed. Janine was very hurt because the man that she loved and trusted was now with the woman he had been cheating on her with. Janine had a hard time adjusting to life as a single mother. She had her family’s support but she really struggled initially. Especially because less than a month after her divorce was final between Janine and Logan he married Sasha, the same woman he was cheating on Janine with. Janine decided to allow her children in the wedding of Logan and Sasha. It hurt Janine to the core but she knew that this was all a process and that her children had NOTHING to do with the break down of the marriage between and her Logan. Janine could have chosen to be bitter, angry and ressentful towards Logan and speak negatively about him to their children, but instead she chose to move on and let her children keep a healthy relationship with their father regardless of if she was still hurt by the things he had done in their relationship. Over the course of years, Janine and Logan’s children got older. They found out exactly what happened with the marriage of their parents. Their father had become distant, with his new wife and her children and only came around his own children when there were special events or during the summer. Although, Janine encouraged the relationship between Logan and his children, his children had gotten older and he had not learned how to balance his new family and his other family. Needless to say there was hurt for Logan and Janine’s children because they didn’t understand why their father wasn’t around them and didn’t have a strong relationship with them. Fast Forward 5 years. Janine is now remarried, Logan divorced Sasha and has started to try to sever the things he couldn’t balance while married to Sasha. Fast Forward 3 years, Janine and her children were introduced to a child that Logan had while he was married to Janine. The daughter that he knew was his but never told anyone about or spent time with. Their lives are still growing and the story continues.

I am a character in this story, and although I won’t tell you who. I wrote it out to say, STOP holding your children and your life HOSTAGE because of what a man did to you! STOP living your life resenting someone who doesn’t even care about you ANYMORE. Janine could have easily gone on to tell her children what a HORRIBLE person Logan was. But Janine did not, she realize her children had NOTHING to do with the problems that occurred in her marriage. Instead she chose to LIVE and LOVE herself enough to see that she needed to move on and NOT play the Victim. What is even more incredible about this story is that after all these years Janine found out that Logan had a child by another woman while they were in their first years of marriage. Janine LOVEs this child as if she were her own because she is the sibling to her own children. Janine grew up with her father in and out of her life, so she wanted to make sure her children kept a relationship with their sibling.

We should all confront and recognize our anger and bitterness toward others, because that is part of the healing process however, harboring those feelings and refusing to work toward the restoration of broken relationships is contrary to God’s will and desire for our lives. We need to prayerfully confess inner feelings of anger, to God and then surrender them to God so that he will heal our hearts and allow us to move on. When we don’t allow ourselves to forgive those who have done us wrong, we are only hurting ourselves!!

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins too. Mark 11: 25″

“And I will give you a new heart — I will give you new and right desires — and put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony hearts of sin and give you new hearts of love. “ Ezekial 36: 26-27

Choose to NOT play the vicitim!

Love you all!