I’ll admit I’m bitter…

I’ve been done wrong so many times I can’t even count them, from the man that cheated on me with multiple women, to the man that had a baby with another woman while we were in a relationship, to the man that said he just couldn’t handle being in a “monogamous relationship”. SOOO excuse me if I’m a little bitter, LET ME TAKE THAT BACK, A WHOLE LOT BITTER. While my friends are off in happy relationships, and having children, I’m still dealing with the same no good men who continue to do me wrong.

It doesn’t make me less of a woman no, but it does make me cautious to get into something new with the guy who’s soo pressed to get to know me! Fact of the matter is, I don’t smile back at every guy that approaches me and I don’t sell hello to every John, James and Keith because in the back of my mind, I’m wondering what does this nigga really want from me, is it sex, is it things, is it time, is it arm candy. What is it that this man really wants from me?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m almost a constant contradiction, but hell that’s me!! I don’t believe in those bitter women that tell you men “ain’t ish”, and all the good men are married, and there is a “Black Women/man epidemic”, “I’d rather be alone than deal with these men” and most good men are in jail, because they are lying!! . Truth is  there is a wonderful, gorgeous God fearing man who works hard, and seriously loves me out there I won’t stop having faith that God is sending him to me. There is a man that will love you, take care of you, marry you and have kids with you and WON’T run away. But the reality is WOMEN run them away! YES i SAID IT, AND ONCE I’VE DONE IT! I ran him away, will all my past “hurt” and bitterness I had him thinking there was NO WAY he could repair that heart of mine. BUT WHAT IRKS ME IS THIS: STOP ACTING LIKE ALL MEN WANT TO HURT YOU,

YES I’M

BITTER..

BITE ME

But I have faith in GOD that shows me I shouldn’t male bash every man I meet!!

Cause EVEN on a bad day I’m a 6 maybe 7. My hair may not be done, I may have just had a silly argument with an ex who doesn’t deserve my time, I still need to loose those last 30 lbs but I’m still a 7. When I’m feeling and looking like who shot John men approach me, men tell me how beautiful I am and almost all of them ask me “Where my boyfriend is” So you know what,

THAT’S WHAT MAKES

ME

REALLY REALLY REALLY

BITTER.

YES, I  am beautiful, educated, well-versed, I’m a Domestic goddess who loves to cook and yes, I am even funny at times, but why does that make me psycho if I don’t have a man.  SINCE WHEN DID A MAN DEFINE ME.. Since when was it ok to say “damn, she must be crazy cause she ain’t got a man, she just too good to be true”

PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL ME

WHERE THIS

BS

came from.

However, I will take some RESPONSIBILITY in this myself, because honestly I don’t always pick the right ones, matter of fact, I take full responsibility because here I am constantly making the decision to pick the same WRONG kind of man. I know I am going to catch slack for this, but truth is ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. ALL MEN WILL SHOW YOU IF HE’S INTERESTED IN YOU. If he wants you he will show you. Not just in a few phone calls every day but in his actions, he wants to see you, he wants to spend time with you and girl he wants to have sex with you. I don’t care if he says he’s tired or he’s busy or he’s   Men are PHYSICAL, and want to have sex!!! I DON’T CARE IF HE’S A PREACHER, A MUSLIM OR A MARRIED MAN; I don’t care if you are 300lbs or 98lbs a man ALWAYS will look at you! He will always look at women and wonder what is under her clothes. THAT IS ALLLLLL MEN.

NO MATTER HOW BUSY HE IS, HE WILL WANT TO SEE YOU AT LEAST FOR 15 MIN a day if possible, he will want to make sure you are ok and he will want to ensure that he can have sex with you. It may not be today or next week, but men live with the “possibility” factor. I make a man wait, even if I’m not trying to deal with a man on a serious note, I notice that look in his eyes when he’s undressing me and I keep that element of surprise so even if he thinks hes gonna get some he probably WON’T.

Let me break it down for you in the excuses men make and how we believe them,

Dear Miss. Jenee,

My man Cameron is the bomb. He works everyday, he takes care of his son and he cares about me. We started dating about 6 months ago and he really keeps showing me we are moving to the next level. He’s soo attentive, he calls/texts to check on me, we see each other 3-4 times a week, we go on dates and we have a good time, he has actually been around some of my family. I would love to be in an exclusive relationship with him, but, he actually he told me that he was still hurting from his last relationship. I spend the night with him often and we cuddle and watch TV. but he won’t ever initiate sex with me. He will kiss me good nite and say “I’m tired” I really want to keep dating him  but I am unsure where this is going, I am sure I can change his heart.  What should I do…

Love Kim

Dear KIM,

umm where do I start, CAMERON IS just not that into you! If he wanted to be with you he would make you his  girl. My last boyfriend had been in a VERY bad on and off again relationship that had seriously broken his heart. He hadn’t been in a serious relationship in years but at the end of  the day no matter how near or far we were from each other he wanted to make me his. He didn’t want to be with ANYONE ELSE and he wanted to have me all to himself. And girl, that’s what men do when the are REALLY INTERESTED IN YOU. I don’t care how bad he’s been hurt if he’s not initiating sex he isn’t into you. No able bodied man even if he’s work 24 or 12 hours is going to NOT be all over you if he is interested in you. But sweetie. you should just cut your losses.

xoxox

Miss.Jenee

This is what makes me BITTER, why don’t men just tell you what they want. Yes, Cameron told Kim he didn’t want a relationship, but in a woman’s mind if they are spending 3-4 days with you and communicating with you on a daily basis, then they are your “girlfriend” they give themselves the title because they feel they are just that important that you care about them enough to spend the majority of their time with her.

I have been there before, we get so caught up in the fact that he is always there and he gives us companionship that we miss the real reason we are even involved with him. If you just want companionship then keep dealing with him, because that’s ALL YOU ARE GOING TO GET. HE IS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HE ISN’T GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU UNLESS YOU BEG. ALL you are to him is a friend who he spends time with. Maybe he has been through some things in the past but truth is, if he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would be. The first time I had to ask a man I had been dating for almost a year to have sex with me my self-esteem plummeted because I KNEW he wasn’t into me. I ignored the facts but in the back of my mind I really knew he wasn’t interested and here I was lowering my standards for a man that WAS NOT ATTRACTED ENOUGH to me to have sex with me. But here is what really made me bitter, even though he wasn’t having sex with me, he was constantly telling me how beautiful I was. This confused the hell out of me. He obviously thought I was pretty but he personally wasn’t attracted enough to me to have sex with me.

So this is my conclusion, no matter how bitter a man can make you, rest assured another will come around. If its next year or the next hour some man will come around and give you hope, but we have to know when to cut our losses. Never be so “comfortable” with a man that you don’t catch the signs and loose your self-esteem because that is how these old women become sooo bitter. They spend their whole lives being mad at Tony, Keith, Cameron and Eric for what he did wrong until they don’t stop to look at what THEY DID WRONG!!

I PROMISE YOU, if you pay attention to the signs he will always show you, men are assholes girls and they won’t always tell you they aren’t into you, but they will ALWAYS SHOW YOU…

Peace and Blessings

xoxoxo

Miss.Jenee