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Spiritual Maturity

21 Feb

When we were younger, we were taught to say our prayers, thank God, Be kind to our parents, go to church and not to sin. But the older we get we have to realize that growing with God isn’t just about those things. The older we get the more we have to realize that God functions through our worship. How can God’s kingdom grow if we don’t share his good news.

I know. I know. I know. The whole thing about walking up to a stranger and talking to them about God seems strange. We run away from The Jehovah Witnesses when they come knocking on our doors. But I’m not necessarily talking about those who are strangers. I’m talking about those inside our own homes, the ones we text/call the most, the ones we share friendships with and yes our family members.

Spiritual Maturity is about going beyond just praying for our neighbors, it is when we HELP our neighbors, when we pray for specific things in the life of our family and friends. Spiritual maturity is about tithing and not worrying about it because all of it belongs to God anyway. Spiritual maturity is about moving on and understanding what God is trying to teach us at this time in our lives. Spiritual maturity is about obeying our Calling from God and doing whatever it takes to get there because our faith gives us  Spiritual Maturity is about no longer blaming others for your failures but trying to figure out what we need to do to get to the next step in our lives.

I’ve learned a lot in the past few years but I have such a long way to go. I have found my calling in evangelism but I am so unsure where God is trying to push me to go with it. I have embraced new relationships and closed others, I have learned to trust God when there is nothing left to do. But what I have learned most is to be specific. Specific in my prayers even when they go unanswered, specific in my desires and needs and specific in my plans. I’ve learned more scriptures by heart and their specific passages and I’ve learned that giving to others isn’t so bad, its what I’m called to do.

So today, while you are searching your heart for answers I urge you to be specific in your desires, don’t just pray for shelter and clothing and food. God’s always got your back for that, but pray for exactly what you want, exactly what it is going to take you to get there and what you need to change in order to progress. Don’t worry if the change doesn’t come immediately, just keep praying for your desires. If your desires are God’s desires they will come, if not God has something better in store. I’m learning that myself, but I’m yet holding on.

Love, Peace and Blessings..

Miss. Jenee,

Thought For The Day

23 Aug

I may not be someone’s first choice. But God told me that I am a great choice. I may  not be a millionairess but my wisdom ad value are worth more than rubies and diamonds. I don’t pretend to be someone I am not, because I am great at being me. I may not be proud of some of the things that I have done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today because God has granted me peace beyond all understanding. I may not be perfect, but Jesus died, so I wouldn’t need to be.  Take me as I am, or watch me walk away, because I am wonderfully made!

 

*Please note, I am taking a brief social network break*

 

Jenee

Birthday’s Always Bring Reflection

15 Aug

Tuesday August 9th was my birthday. Each year as I get closer to 30, my mind always looks back to when I was 18. Freshwoman year of college, I thought I literally had everything under control. Boy was I wrong. Almost 10 years later. I sit and reflect about all the things I had planned on doing by now.

1. Graduate Degree…. Not CLOSE and not in the immediate future

2. Married… no where near it.. cause I’m Super Duper Single..

3. Living in a house that I own… Close but not close enough..

4. Driving a Luxury Vehicle…. umm yeah about that.. lol long story

5. Making over $70k… lol.. what was I thinking..

I may not like that I don’t make a lot of money, but the fact that I do something I love keeps me happy. Although I have to work 1000 other jobs and hustles to make my standard of living. I am assured that one day God will grant me with a career that I love and get paid well to do it. Once upon a time I did make a substantial amount of money and HATED my job. So while I love my job I won’t complain until it is time for me to move on.

Being single doesn’t bother me much either because for once  I’ve learned to be alone and love it. I take myself out alone all the time and it has shown me that I can be alone and LOVE it!

What bothers me out of the entire goals by 30 list is the “what if’s” What if I had stayed with him? What if I had fought for once in my life? What if I had went straight to graduate school in the middle of this economic depression? What if I would have stayed in NC? What if I had never accepted my calling?

I remember I met someone 2 years ago almost to the week. It happened so fast. My mom told me it was moving to fast, but me being the lover that I am, I didn’t listen. Maybe because I saw him being a different breed of man. #1 he persued me.  I invited everyone to come to church for my birthday that year and although he had only known me through mutual friends and social networks. He came to church, he came to my birthday parties that year. I even caught myself being googly eyed about him and I barely knew him. We started a serious relationship immediately after my birthday. For the 1st time I had someone who I thought loved me flaws and all, then everything came crashing down, what he wanted (namely kids) I wasn’t sure I wanted.  Maybe I should have just kept my mouth closed and not have been so opinionated about things, but being the Leo that I am I always had to let everything be known.

You see, as as I get older I realize that there aren’t many times in life you really fall in love. I’m the type that if someone does me wrong I drop them and never look back. Just ask my college boyfriend. lol I’ve only been in love with 2 people in my lifetime. We will call my 2nd love. Purple.  Please don’t expect this to be a comparison of my 2 loves. Both are drastically different.

But Purple, he had me at hello. Literally. I never knew he paid that much attention to me and as time went on, I found out that we had much more in common than I cared to recognized. The one thing I loved about Purple more than anything was that he was supportive of me, that he was kind to me, that I would literally rush home, so that we could be together that night. It was the type of love I yearned for in my life. The type of love that we all wish we could have in our life time.

To this day I still love him. Even though the whole “in love” and “love” come up often in my thoughts of him because face it, we don’t just stop loving someone after we break up with the. But, Sometimes I wonder if we can ever get that love back, that love that we first have with someone. That love that makes you weak and that makes you wear something special because you know they will be there, that makes you skip hanging out with your girls, to spend time with them. The love you tell all of your friends about. The love that Years later, the only man you even talk about to them is him lol.

It’s hilarious but with each year, I wonder over and over, was he my “great love” ? Maybe I’m just naive to think that after all this time, I could still love him and he could still love me. I’ve learned to be able to express my emotions and feelings over the past few years. Before I would just bottle them up and not express them until I just blew up..

But now as each birthday  passes I realize how very fragile I am. How constantly getting rejected and ignored by the one person you thought cared about you can do to your already weak spirit. Advice to my sistahs: love yourself enough to know when to move on. Love yourself enough to love someone. Love yourself enough to recognize when someone is using you and love yourself enough to know that you are a rare gem! God loves you and no one defines your worth, not a man, not a family member, not  even your net worth.

Lauren Hill said it best when she said “I loved real, real hard once, but the love wasn’t returned. Found out the man I’d die for wasn’t even concerned. “

I wish that I could get those days back and cherish them more.  But I know its all a part of God’s bigger plan. With each passing year, I know that God has something bigger and greater in store for me. With expanding my ministry and various businesses. With getting married to the man of my dreams, with having a kid or two. living in a house that I own  and making above and beyond the amount of income I had planned to make.

I’ve learned that my mistakes make me human. That my prayers keep me going and that my family keeps me grounded. I’ve learned that although you may love someone, they may never forgive you and may never allow you to love them because they have no clue what it really means to be loved. I’ve learned that true love always returns if its supposed to and that the person God has ordained for me to be with, is waiting for me just as I am waiting for him. I’ve realized that being away from people makes it so much easier to think clearly.

The most important thing I have learned is that although I am single, I am never alone. I’ve learn to TRUST God for big things even when they seem so far away! God has set me apart for a reason. I’m rare because God wants me to be that way. I pray that everything I do uplift the Kingdom of God in a special way. A delay is not a denial!

Proverbs 3:5- “Trust the Lord, with all your heart and Lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your paths”

God be in my thoughts, so my mind will cease to wander. God be in my dreams, so I don’t lose touch with heaven
God be in my emptiness; that I may cease to hunger . God be in my silence, that I may hear Your voice.

Lord I will trust you.. Thank you

After All that I have been through, I still have JOY!  This joy I have, the world didn’t give it to me and  the World can NEVER take it away!

Do We Choose Fear or Love?

15 Dec

When most people love, they attempt to love without fear. True love is knowing that the person you adore and love can totally destroy you but chooses not to. True Love is the absence of fear. But how do we learn to love without fear? True enough, we are often defined by the relationships that have destroyed us or those relationships that have helped us grow. But the fact of the matter is we can’t possibly learn to love others if we are afraid to do so. How can we possibly learn to love a new mate if we haven’t learned to accept and love the people in our lives that God joined us with i.e., family. Regardless of how you feel about your family, you can’t control who you were born to!

If you don’t love, you are constantly in fear. Wether its the fear of failing in a new relationship, fear of actually caring enough about someone else to see your own desires falter.  If you don’t love, you are only fearing yourself and your own destiny. God is in control and we must submit ourselves to the universe. To love each other and to love the things that God has created. Have you ever took the time to really look at the food before you buy it, or before you eat it? Have you Taken the time to smell the vegetables or smell the fruit  to see the manifestations of God’s love? When we take the time away from truly loving our bodies and our minds, we take the process of self-discovery of nature and God’s own creations. There is no way you can love if you have fear. Adversely, there is no way you can be fearful if you have love. The very essence of the word fear is having doubt in your mind.

I remember when I fell in love with Jesus. I remember pouring out my heart and trusting only to him that my life would be different from that point on. That day was the best day of my life! Essentially I had been living my life in fear because I didn’t love God enough to put all my hopes and cares in him. Do you realize there is NOTHING  to hard for God? We can’t possibly love God and fear the economy. We can’t love ourselves and fear never getting married. We can’t be afraid of our future if we don’t love.

Although fear is a true human emotion and at some point or another we will all observe the emotion of fear. We must not live our lives in fear. I promise that if you choose to love instead of fear the whole direction of your life will change. Not just love of ourselves but love of the unverse and man kind.

I’m a naturally giving person, I get it from my grandmother, she will give everything to anybody. I really believe she does this because she loves people so much that she chooses to live without fear of how her own things will get taken care of. Now while my grandmother’s approach to things are very radical, I’ve attempted to do the same in a lot of aspect of my life. Even when I was jobless, I still tithed and to this day I have never had a day without food, or gas or anything that I needed. I received most of my wants too because I was faithful enough to live without fear. I love God and have so much faith in him that I will not live my life fearing a job, fearing an income, fearing anything because I chose to love God and trust him. I love God so much that I partake in giving him 10% of my income. Really, all the blessings and sources of income I receive are from God so giving him 10% is NOTHING. Life is the sum of the choices we make, if we choose to love or we choose to fear, life will always go on. So I ask you today, do you choose to fear or Love..

Peace and Blessings

Eat,Pray,Love

4 Sep

I have been having some serious life changing moments this year. It started on my Birthday August 9th. I decided to take myself on a trip. I kept asking myself, where could I go for under $400 and I didn’t have to drive for 3 days. NYC was out of the question, LA was way to expensive,Miami was too fancy.

So I thought about the things I love so much: Seafood, water and Music. Upon further research I discovered that Erykah Badu (My favorite Artist) was playing a concert in Columbia,Maryland. The closest airport to Columbia is Baltimore. So the next day, I purchased a plane/hotel and a week later flew to Bmore. For 3 days I ate, I went to church, I slept and I didn’t touch a computer once. It felt so good to be away from home and be balanced. Other than the concert, I didn’t really “go out” everything was in walking distance of my hotel. I really was @ peace with myself and my future. And taking a trip alone turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

So tonight. September 3rd Friday. I was talking to a business associate about my weekend plans. When I told him, I didn’t have any other than working and church and sleep he said “its a holiday, do something you enjoy doing” so when I left work, I had almost but decided to go to the bar to have a drink, but I decided against it, I checked the movie times in the small theater by my house and went to go see “Eat, Pray, Love.”

I’ll admit when the whole phenomena was going on about “EPL” I wasn’t enthused. I some how ended up with 2 copies of this book (which at time of writing this blog I can’t find either :( )and I couldn’t get through the book. There was too many internal thoughts going on, and honestly @ the time I had too much going on to read about some rich white lady and her issues when I was a middle class black woman working pay check to pay check.

But the Spirit led me to see this movie alone and it truly was an epiphany. This movie spoke to me on more than 1 level. I probably could write a book on my experiences just because of the inspiration of this book. It has really changed my thinking.

I have a short mental bucket list of things I want to do before my next birthday a year from now and 1 of them includes taking another trip alone. And I encourage every woman to do the same. The author of this book who the movie was themed after taught me a lot but the main point is this: Balance.

I’ve tried my whole life to juggle when I really needed to learn how to Balance..

Eat, Pray, Love

Happiness

3 Sep

In 2008 my church member 10 year old Olivia Hayes got hit by an armored truck at her bus stop and a few days later died. She was so full of life and a the middle of 3 children. I saw her and her parents and siblings week after week as she ushered and sang in the choir.  She even led a song in the choir and I will never forget.  When Olivia was in the hospital, a church member told the story about how she constantly saw yellow butterflies, while Olivia was in the hospital and gave all of us at the church butterfly pins while Olivia was in the hospital.  For the days she was in the hospital and even at her funeral, these butterflies were our hope, they were our peace and a guardian angel that was Olivia Nicole Hayes. I have Olivia’s obituary and funeral program and I look at it daily.

I believe that when God takes a child’s life its a precious and serious thing, in the little time Olivia was alive she changed so many people’s lives.  Earlier that year my coworker lost her 16 year old son to heart disease. I often questioned why God would take them at such a young age. But I know that God is in control.

Have you ever felt like things weren’t going your way or that the plans of your life were not as planned. Well they are exactly how God intended them to be. We may not have the  things we desire in life but God has a bigger plan.

For the past 2 weeks I have been seeing yellow butterflies everyday, not 1 or 2 butterflies but at least 3 a day. I laugh every time I see them and I even told “him” about my sightings and he never sees them. I know this is a confirmation from God that great things are on the horizon. I am blessed beyond measure and I have been filled with Joy for the past 2 days. I have no words to describe how happy I am at this point in my life. Not because of the things I have , but because of the awesome people I have around me and the endless possibilities that are occurring in my life . I truly know that the best is RIGHT around the corner! My love life is not exactly where I want it to be, my best friend is in NYC but God has a huge major plan that is about to happen to me soon, very soon and I am overwhelmed with Joy about the possibilities!

Have faith! The things that are impossible to us are ever so simple in the sight of  God. How great is our God? He’s greater than words could ever describe. This joy that I have the world didn’t give it to me, no person or thing can ever take the joy that GOD has given me.  I praise his name forever more!

Thank God for Butterflies!

Etiquette 101

24 Jun

I’m mad! Do you know why; Because people in 2010 have NO ETIQUETTE! Maybe they were never taught, or maybe they just don’t care but the point is, the standards are HORRIBLE!! People please learn the essentials of Etiquette before you die; it can take you so far!

I’m thinking about holding an etiquette class for people ages 18-30 because these YALL ARE THE MAIN  CULPRITS! Children know how to say please and thank you, grandmas and aunties know how to be nice to others and speak when they walk into any establishment but MY AGE GROUP simply has no regard for rules or regulations or simply what it means to be nice.

In case you didn’t know, Etiquette is: the customs or rules governing behavior regarded as correct or acceptable in social or official life

Top 5 Etiquette Rules

According to Miss. Jenee

1. WHEN YOU ARE INVITED SOMEWHERE BRING A GIFT, A TOKEN OR AN ITEM.

My people, my people, if someone invites you to their home, their birthday party or even to a dinner party even if you maybe paying for your own food, bring a gift!! That host has taken time, money and care to plan this event and a note or card should be the LEAST you can do to show your gratitude! Yall KILL me coming to somebody’s party at their house and not even having a card, you bring your boys, you bring your man but you don’t even bring a 2 for $1.o0  card from the Dollar Store! You come eat somebody’s food, DRANK THEY DRANK, but can’t even stop at Kroger to bring a $6.00 bottle of wine! It does not MATTER what the event is! It takes hard work and time to plan something and you should always show your gratitude! The next time I have an event and people don’t bring anything, they won’t get in. PERIOD. Call it rude, but how rude is it to expect something free and you didn’t put anything into it. Bring some ice, some cards, something! Shoot

2. CORRECT CLOTHING

Okay, men and women get a lot of slack about appropriate dress but here is the reality, THERE SHOULD NEVER be a time where you think its okay to wear jeans or shorts to a wedding, a reception, a dinner party. Seriously guys, I know, you get tired of dressing up at work and for everything in your life, but I don’t think there is any woman who thinks its cute for a man to wear jeans and a t-shirt to a restaurant other than Red Lobster, Chillis or Applebees. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some times you may want to wear the hard bottoms and the button up with a pair of jeans. That CAN be acceptable. BUT WHY IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH, do you think it’s okay to wear jeans under your behind to a restaurant where the food is $30 a person?!? PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOUR MAMA IS?! WOMEN TOO! Since when was it ok to walk into church with the back out of your dress! Seriously! I know we want to think “We are in church, come as you are” but seriously, you should ALWAYS give God your BEST! You get dressed up to go to the club and to work, why can’t you slip on a nice dress that covers your body and worship God! I can’t stand when I see a grown woman with a halter top dress on at church. Its cute for Sunday Brunch if you wear a cardigan over it for church! Not cute to have all your breasts out for every man to concentrate on! Word to the wise, if you question it, don’t wear it. END OF STORY

3. Thank You Cards

If someone gives you something THANK THEM. You can get a pack of 5 Thank you cards at the DOLLAR TREE FOR $1.00. MY GOODNESS! Even after an interview you should send a card, just to say thank you for their time. If you can’t afford to get someone a gift, a THANK YOU CARD for even taking the time to invite you is awesome. You may say people don’t want a little card, but when was the last time you received a card in the mail, wait, when was the last time you received something in the mail other than bills and advertisements! Hand written notes and thank you cards still have a lot of value in 2010. Try it and I promise it will work!

4. Being Late

I’ll admit, I’m late to most events, normally because I have 1000 other things going on and getting there on time is not at the top of my priority list because I have other imperative tasks to complete in a day. My day’s all run together and getting to a friend’s dinner party will happen but I’ll probably be late. But the reality is. THAT IS SUPER SUPER RUDE! IF AN EVENT STARTS AT 6 BE THERE AT 6, NOT 6:30 OR 8:00. Somebody has taken a lot of time to prepare and arrange this event and the fact that you can’t be on time, is rude to not only the host but everyone at the event. So many times, I have had to wait 30 minutes to eat because somebody is late to dinner and everyone can’t be seated until the entire party is there!! grrr

5. Tipping

I have to get on a lot of people close to me about this, because it is 1 of my pet peeves. Whenever someone provides a service to you the least you can do is Tip them. THIS INCLUDES YOUR EYEBROW GIRL, YOUR NAIL LADY, YOUR HAIR STYLIST, YOUR BARBER! The nail tech/pedicurist is scrubbing your feet and you give her $1.00!! That’s about what you give the homeless man on the street!!! There are sometimes when a person has been rude, but I still tip her/him 15% of the bill. Tipping is REQUIRED people. Not an option, there is NOTHING cute to me about going on a date with a man and him tipping a waitress $5.oo for a $60.00 meal. WHAT IN THE WORLD. This woman has answered all 100 of your questions, been polite to you, brought out all of your food, stood on her feet for 2hours bringing you drinks and you give her $5.00. So her hourly rate for you is $7.00. GTFOH. she only makes $2.13 since as a waitress and usually her tips have to be shared with the buss boy and the hostess. Just as an FYI, if strippers live off tips so do waitresses. Shout out to the strippers, but even if a dude didn’t “like” the dance, he doesn’t get out of tipping/paying up, if he doesn’t tip he won’t get the dance! But when you are a waitress you HAVE to serve the person. You never know she/he may be on their 2nd job trying to take care of their kids, you are their 20th table of the day and they are just tired!!! If someone is extra great as a waitress, or has awesome food, I usually tip 20%. When my nail tech does an extra good job, I’ll tip her 30%. 15% is REQUIRED!!! MMKKKK

Well this is all for now, I’m gonna make my blood pressure go up because of these Etiquette rules, but please say nobody told you! Cause Jenee did!!

Unequivocally Me!

7 Jun

I can never define myself

and

neither can you.

When living in a world where all people are the same how does one remain unique?

When living in a universe where negativity, sexuality and imbalance are the norm, how does one stay sain?

Often I wonder how does one stay Christian in a world of sin? How does one remain free in a land of bondage?

When we are daily defined by our hair styles, our degrees, our bank accounts and our daily actions how do we stay free and unequivocally ourselves?

How does one grow past lust and into real love when the human brain is always in constant desire of touch?

I find it hard to live in a world where women are expected to “submit” and be inferior to a man.  I do believe that as a Christian the woman was formed from the man and that it is in divine order to take the lead of the man, but does that require me to NOT have a voice? To dumb down my entire thought process because I am yearning for a connection.

But my soul craves more. My being cries out for a soulful connection. A connection that speaks to my heart and to my spiritual duties. Not just in light of my spiritual journey but in walking and gaining power in the universe.

I want to wear natural hair without people  thinking I am “wholistic”  or for the “cause”

I want to eat pork without people giving me the bible verse Leviticus 11:7.

I want to learn more about intimacy without having sex.

I want to be more like Jesus and less like man, more like David and less like Paul.

I want to be a bible based Christian who still loves  Homosexuals,Muslims, Atheist, Buddist etc.

I want to have a person dig so deep into my soul until I feel the Lord has personally touched me.

I want to experience the angelic attunements connected to a man’s soul.

I want to wear dresses and skirts everyday and not be considered an anti-feminist.

I don’t want to have to explain the essence of my being.

I want those who love me to search my heart to find my love language.

I desire to be surrounded by members of God’s kingdom who understand that greatness does not equate to a superior view of myself in relationship to others.

I want to listen to convoluted rap songs about: disrespecting women, the gifts my hometown has and the “Drug” life and be considered a “Deep” and intelligent being at the same time.

I want to be a Christian and never be doubted on my love for Christ.

I want to write books that only a handful of people would understand but make millions of dollars.

I desire such intelligent conversation that it allows me to reach into my wealth of knowledge and surprise even myself.

I crave the attention and constant kisses of a love other than those who want the physical allurement of me.

I am heteromorphic.

I am Red Velvet.

I am emotionally imbalanced.

I am bewildered.

I am astute.

I am chic.

I am UNEQUIVOCALLY ME

AND I LOVE IT

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