STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM!!!

Listen to these Stories and Tell Me WHICH One you Prefer:

Man and Woman marry. They have 4 children and continue marriage for 30 years.  Man cheats and marries woman he cheats on wife with.  Woman NEVER remarries and lives with resentment her ENTIRE life for what she believes he did to her. Creating stress for the 4 children.

Man and Woman marry, they have 4 beautiful children, man cheats on wife and marries the woman he cheats on wife with.  1st Wife, moves on, gets married to her 2nd husband and although there is initial tension, the woman moves on and still is friendly to her 1st husband and his wife.

My name is Jenee and I have been cheated on. Not once, not twice, but multiple times. Did I die from it, No. Did I learn from it, HELL YES! Women we have to STOP playing the Victim. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST NOR THE LAST TO GET CHEATED ON!!!

Just because he/she cheated does not make you LESS of a woman. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE IF IT WAS, HE WOULDN’T HAVE CHEATED. People cheat because they are selfish, PERIOD. Not because you did something wrong, not because you didn’t do enough. What they lay down and do is between them, God and that other person. Be HAPPY THAT they did and you found out so that you can find someone who CARES AND LOVES you enough to not cheat on you. Since when did a relationship define who you are as a woman, a mother as a FRIEND.  I usually don’t comment on Reality TV because I don’t care enough but the episode of  The Braxton’s literally HURT my HEART. Because I have seen and been a living example of the life that The Braxton’s lived.

Initially I didn’t want to talk about it, because truth is, it still hurts to think about it, but I pray that this story will help some woman MOVE ON and LIVE HER LIFE!

Janine and Logan were married for 15 years,  they met each other at a young age, got married and decided to have children. During the course of their relationship, Logan was unfaithful to Janine multiple times. Logan and Janine filed for divorce knowing that their children’s lives would be forever changed. Janine was very hurt because the man that she loved and trusted was now with the woman he had been cheating on her with.  Janine had a hard time adjusting to life as a single mother. She had her family’s support but she really struggled initially.  Especially because less than a month after her divorce was final between Janine and Logan he  married Sasha, the same woman he was cheating on Janine with. Janine decided to allow her children in the wedding of Logan and Sasha. It hurt Janine to the core but she knew that this was all a process and that her children had NOTHING to do with the break down of the marriage between and her Logan. Janine could have chosen to be bitter, angry and ressentful towards Logan and speak negatively about him to their children, but instead she chose to move on and let her children keep a healthy relationship with their father regardless of if she was still hurt by the things he had done in their relationship.  Over the course of years, Janine and Logan’s children got older. They found out exactly what happened with the marriage of their parents. Their father had become distant, with his new wife and her children and only came around his own children when there were special events or during the summer. Although, Janine encouraged the relationship between Logan and his children, his children had gotten older and he had not learned how to balance his new family and his other family. Needless to say there was hurt for Logan and Janine’s children because they didn’t understand why their father wasn’t around them and didn’t have a strong relationship with them. Fast Forward 5 years. Janine is now  remarried, Logan divorced Sasha and has started to try to sever the things he couldn’t balance while married to Sasha. Fast Forward 3 years, Janine and her children were introduced to a child that Logan had while he was married to Janine. The daughter that he knew was his but never told anyone about or spent time with. Their lives are still growing and the story continues.

I am a character in this story, and although I won’t tell you who. I wrote it out to say, STOP holding your children and your life HOSTAGE because of what a man did to you! STOP living your life resenting someone who doesn’t even care about you ANYMORE. Janine could have easily gone on to tell her children what a HORRIBLE person Logan was. But Janine did not, she realize her children had NOTHING to do with the problems that occurred in her marriage. Instead she chose to LIVE and LOVE herself enough to see that she needed to move on and NOT play the Victim. What is even more incredible about this story is that after all these years Janine found out that Logan had a child by another woman while they were in their first years of marriage. Janine LOVEs this child as if she were her own because she is the sibling to her own children. Janine grew up with her father in and out of her life, so she wanted to make sure her children kept a relationship with their sibling.

We should all confront and  recognize our anger and bitterness toward others, because that is part of the healing process however, harboring those feelings and refusing to work toward the restoration of broken relationships is contrary to God’s will and desire for our lives. We need to prayerfully confess inner feelings of anger,  to God and then  surrender them to God so that he will heal our hearts and allow us to move on. When we don’t allow ourselves to forgive those who have done us wrong, we are only hurting ourselves!! 

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins too. Mark 11: 25″

“And I will give you a new heart — I will give you new and right desires — and put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony hearts of sin and give you new hearts of love. “ Ezekial 36: 26-27

Choose to NOT play the vicitim!

Love you all!