I can never define myself

and

neither can you.

When living in a world where all people are the same how does one remain unique?

When living in a universe where negativity, sexuality and imbalance are the norm, how does one stay sain?

Often I wonder how does one stay Christian in a world of sin? How does one remain free in a land of bondage?

When we are daily defined by our hair styles, our degrees, our bank accounts and our daily actions how do we stay free and unequivocally ourselves?

How does one grow past lust and into real love when the human brain is always in constant desire of touch?

I find it hard to live in a world where women are expected to “submit” and be inferior to a man.  I do believe that as a Christian the woman was formed from the man and that it is in divine order to take the lead of the man, but does that require me to NOT have a voice? To dumb down my entire thought process because I am yearning for a connection.

But my soul craves more. My being cries out for a soulful connection. A connection that speaks to my heart and to my spiritual duties. Not just in light of my spiritual journey but in walking and gaining power in the universe.

I want to wear natural hair without people  thinking I am “wholistic”  or for the “cause”

I want to eat pork without people giving me the bible verse Leviticus 11:7.

I want to learn more about intimacy without having sex.

I want to be more like Jesus and less like man, more like David and less like Paul.

I want to be a bible based Christian who still loves  Homosexuals,Muslims, Atheist, Buddist etc.

I want to have a person dig so deep into my soul until I feel the Lord has personally touched me.

I want to experience the angelic attunements connected to a man’s soul.

I want to wear dresses and skirts everyday and not be considered an anti-feminist.

I don’t want to have to explain the essence of my being.

I want those who love me to search my heart to find my love language.

I desire to be surrounded by members of God’s kingdom who understand that greatness does not equate to a superior view of myself in relationship to others.

I want to listen to convoluted rap songs about: disrespecting women, the gifts my hometown has and the “Drug” life and be considered a “Deep” and intelligent being at the same time.

I want to be a Christian and never be doubted on my love for Christ.

I want to write books that only a handful of people would understand but make millions of dollars.

I desire such intelligent conversation that it allows me to reach into my wealth of knowledge and surprise even myself.

I crave the attention and constant kisses of a love other than those who want the physical allurement of me.

I am heteromorphic.

I am Red Velvet.

I am emotionally imbalanced.

I am bewildered.

I am astute.

I am chic.

I am UNEQUIVOCALLY ME

AND I LOVE IT