Welp… I guess this just proves it..

“He’s just not that into You”

A friend of mine Morgan Brown shared this  note with me facebook and I must admit, although my Best Friend Candace’s mom gave me “He’s Just Not that Into You, because “Candace can’t use this, maybe it will help you cause it ain’t helped her” lol the book has been MIA for the past year.  Somebody probably was a stealer along the way, but either way.

I’ve seen the movie form of the book and although it was shown as though the woman was OBSESSED AND DAZED any rational person looking at his actions toward her knew wasn’t really “into” her, she constantly made excuses for him. But what about the subtle ways men show he’s not interested in you, the way he doesn’t ask to spend time with you, or calls when its convenient for him!

This was a good message for me today because I am dealing with someone who although wants to converse with me daily but says “My heart is still recovering from a previous realtionship, I can’t get into another one now” and when asked to spend time he says “I got alot going on” well I just figured it out “He’s Just not that into me, even with the constant contact, and messages of “I miss you” if a man wants you he will do everything in his power to make time for you..

So here is the note! Hope you enjoy!

Random Thoughts: I believe that once you start getting your period, you should read “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Morgan Brown.

Of the many books on relationships that I’ve read, few are as on point as “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It’s a must read for every woman. Mothers, give it to your daughter along with her first box of pads. She’ll need to have it that soon. And if you haven’t read it yourself, buy the book now and pass it on. Really, it’s paying it forward! Give it to your girlfriend instead of Kleenex and Godiva (or along with if you’re truly a friend). Give it to your weepy co-worker. Print out the link on little strips of paper and bake it in fortune cookies for your next soiree. It’s required reading for womanhood.

For some reason, we (read: women) LOVE excuses! We love to make them!! And we’re only hurting ourselves:

He’s afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he’s intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.

For those who are unfamiliar with this amazing piece of literature, quick Wiki note:

The book was inspired by an episode of Sex and the City titled “Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little,” in which Miranda Hobbes asks Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend, Jack Berger, to analyze the post-date behavior of a potential love interest. Because the man declined Miranda’s invitation to come up to her apartment after the date, stating that he has an early meeting, Berger concludes, “He’s just not that into you”, adding, “When a guy’s really into you, he’s coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting.”

1. He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.
Because, let’s face it: Guitar Hero, doing laundry together, lunches out, movie meet-ups…none of these are dates unless he specifies that’s what they are. Hanging out does not a relationship make. Stop setting yourself up and building castles in your imagination out of what he sees as just spending time with a friend….UNLESS HE SAYS OTHERWISE, IT’S NOT A DATE. You are good enough to be asked out, so if he’s not asking, he doesn’t want to.

2. He’s just not that into you if he “forgot to remember you”.
I’m sorry, but we live in the age of technology. If he tells you he forgot to call/text/email, he’s not into you. Stop making excuses for him. (And oh by the way, why are you?)

3. He’s just not that into you if he “doesn’t want to ruin the friendship”
An excuse is a polite rejection. Take it as such and save yourself the aggravation. They don’t mind running the risk of ruining the friendship if they’re willing to sleep with you. Ruining the friendship is the excuse made when they don’t want to do more than sleep with you (or the other requisite above defined platonic “buddy” activities.

4. He’s just not that into you if he disappears on you.
Not hearing from a guy for weeks is equivalent to dog years. You make the appropriate mental correlation. Frankly, if he can remember to check SportsCenter, he can remember to call you…if you’re memorable to him. For further clarification, see number 2.

The above are just a few examples of renditions of magical golden nuggets to be found within the pages of this book. I’ll be honest, most of what I’ve written isn’t for you; it’s to remind me. Not every man you meet/date/spend time with is worth all the effort and energy you put into him. Especially when appropriate or complimentary levels of effort (AND interest!) are not reciprocated.
Sadly, I feel as though I’m rediscovering this mindset again after a long break from reality. Spending time with someone you’re into doesn’t mean he’s into you. EVER. It’s NEVER smart to assume. Further, if he’s not working JUST as hard as you are, put on the brakes and ask yourself why YOU’RE working so hard… Unfortunately, you might not like the answer, but at least you won’t have to guess!

Here’s me paying it forward:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/068987474X/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1H06G1BF6SR0HZ2EZDKK&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846