The Beginning…

I’m starting something new on my blog. In an effort to jumpstart my career as an author I have decided to start blogging a series of short stories. Make sure to read comment, scrutinize and share my blogs and stories with others. I’ll be sure to never leave you disappointed!!

xoxoxox

Miss.Jenee

Love Lost

by Alexis Jenee

I am a Single Female that dates in Atlanta and I hate it. Being beautiful has never been easy and I think it is even harder now. Yes, I am drop dead gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean, I am exempt from bullshit. I can’t walk out the house without someone trying to compliment me. It gets annoying especially since, I can’t stand for men who are NOT in my class, to even look at me. What makes him think that I want to be in a financial struggle and deal with his insecurity issues for the rest of my life? A guy once told me that I would never get married because I was too high maintenance! I later asked him to define high maintenance, since he was the same guy who got weekly spa manicures and pedicures. We broke up a week later because I asked him to go with me to a family function and he said he had a “previous engagement”. I later found out it was because “he had to go get his monthly facial” and his esthetician “was the best in the country” and there was no way he was canceling his appointment he made “8 months ago.”

I think the whole fucked up idea of love came from my shitty relationship with my dad. Yes he was there and no he wasn’t there. He worked but never had money. Cheated but never left home. Lied but never came through. He was the same type of  guy I continued to fall for, but yet I kept towards this path of destruction.

I fell for Daniel in 3 weeks. 3 weeks of non stop sex. No love making, but in the words of  Tyrese “straight fuckin”  I was late to work, because we were up till 5am fuckin, I couldn’t make it to girls night at the club cause we were in his kitchen fucking. This dude had me so whipped on the dick that I was crying on the days he actually worked and I couldn’t get any. But this only lasted for a few weeks. Yes, our sexual chemistry was out of this world, but we never had conversations about anything relevant to our future or our success as a couple. I got tired of waiting on him to ask me to be his girl so the next week, I changed my number. This is the story of my life. From Daniel to Tony to Alex to Shawn to Kion to Harve they all had the same affect on my life, awesome sex with no substance. It was the beginning of the lenten season at c hurch and I was determined to change the patterns in my life. No more  being the “hot girl” at the club every week or shopping at Neimans and Bloomies every day. I was determined to step out of the box of GMD into a real relationship.

What the hell was I thinking? My name is Autumn and this is my story of love lost.

I met Calvin 2 weeks after my pledge to remove sexual attraction out of my quest for fulfillment. He was a police officer. Slick talking and corny as hell but he wad the sexiest smile and his style was impeccable. Whenever we went on dates, he always picked me up, came up to my condo door with a gift. The 1st date he brought me chocolate covered strawberries in a tiffany box. I thought it was corny as hell, who the hell brings chocolates in a diamond box? But he said I’d have to wait for the real diamond. Cornball. I continued to date him because our date was fantastic. He believed in the same things I did,  was straight from Atlanta, like me and was even raised by his single  father like me. I understood his struggles and he understood mine and that 1st date I experienced something I hadn’t ever experienced in 27 years of life, understanding. He knew why I was a bitch, why I had my guard up and why instead of investing in love, I concentrated on great sex. He was just to good to be true.

On our 5th date, we hadn’t even kissed. Whenever he came to my door, with his usual clean shaven face, polo shirt and khaki pants, gift in hand, he would kiss me on my cheek but nothing more. He would do the same as he walked me to my door at the end of the night.  My kitty would be purring but I resisted the urges. I was totally connected to Calvin, and unlike my previous relationships, I would not let sex break up the true feelings I was starting to get with him.  On the 5th date, he requested we  go make dinner together at the local cooking school. I had already told him, although I was the only child and grew up with my father and his girlfriends, I was the worst cook. I ordered out everyday and it actually was cheaper for us because usually it was just me home alone.

Calvin was however the best cook, I had ever met. He cooked me lunch and brought it to my job during week 2 of our friendship. Crab Cake sandwich, homemade salt and pepper chips and homemade pickles on the side. I ate every crumb and morsel of food like it was the best meal I had eaten and again, he put a tingle in my heart I hadn’t ever felt.

By our 8th date we had seen each other almost ever day of the week. Wether it was him bringing me lunch or dinner and dancing, nights at the comedy club and not once did I have to pay. Yes it was weird, I am used to taking control and paying for everything by the 3rd date. But Calvin, was different, he never stayed at my house past 9pm. Was always a gentleman and on the 8th date when our lips, tongues and  saliva met in unity, I was in heaven. It felt like I was kissed for the 1st time and it was an instant love.

On date 10 and into month 3 of our courtship he gave me a gift. A book of love. Each page was dedicated to each of our 10 dates. It had recipes to all the  things  he had ever cooked for me. Including recipes to all the dinners we had out. There were flower petals from the dozens of flowers he had delivered to my home and office. As tears flowed down my face and I looked at the last page, the words “Will you be my Woman, not just now,  but forever” were printed in magazine letters. I hugged, kissed and grabbed him. This was the kind of love that was only in movies, the kind of love I never knew I could experience. This was the beginning of a true love, that I had waited for.  The next day, I looked at wedding rings and thought about all the things I wanted to do for him when we finally made love. We had decided that night that we would wait until we were engaged and married before we would make love.  We weren’t engaged yet, but we were friends and lovers and for once in my life my career and my love life were perfect.

It was February 10. and I was waiting on Calvin, to visit me at work as he did every Friday. My office was in his precinct so he made sure his rounds included my building. He had to work on Valentine’s day so we were going to the mountains for the day. We agreed to spend the night together but he would be on the couch and I in the bed. We were very serious about abstaining.  I was clutching the David Yurman bracelet he had given me. I always wondered how he had money to afford such elaborate gifts on his police officer salary but because his father was a successful multi-millionaire  lawyer in Atlanta, I only figured he had a trust fund. We made a vow to never discuss money in our relationship unless it was necessary because the lack of money was the reason his mother killed herself when he was 12. He assured me that he would always take care of me, and if I ever decided not to work, he would keep me at the same life style I was used to. As I opened and closed my bracelet for the 134th time I called him again on his blackberry and his iPhone his phones went to voice-mail. I began to worry, until I looked at my office phone and saw his number on the caller id. I picked up hastily and said “Baby, where are you, I have been waiting and calling and its late, I am very worried” There was a brief pause, I looked at the phone to make sure the call had not dropped and said hello again. The voice that spoke back to me, was one I never envisioned hearing. In a soft but direct voice the person on the other end of the line said “I don’t know who you are, I’m assuming your name is Autumn, but your number is the only number that has come up on his phone log, I am Calvin’s wife, and I am assuming you are his mistress. Anyway, Calvin got shot this morning by an intruder in our home. I’m glad his ass is dead, now he can stop running around town with you”  I held my phone to ear, this could not be happening. All my hopes and dreams and future were being taken from me, not only because Calvin was married but because he was killed. My baby was married and murdered. Now y’all wonder why I’m such a bitch…

To Be Continued..