It’s Better to have Loved than Not loved at all.

I’ve been in love before. Matter of fact I have been in love 3 times in my life. It has been other times when I told him “I love you” just because I wanted or needed something but genuine love 3xs.

My 1st love was pure. It was for 2 years when I was in high school. He was in college. All the high school boys HATED me because they kept saying “he doesn’t want a high school girl, he’s cheating on you” Little did they know, that dude LOVED ME, I actually cheated on him before he cheated on me! Sucks I know. But I was 15-17 young and dumb and I didn’t realize how great of a man I had.

My 2nd Love, I guess he was karma from my 1st. It lasted about 2 years too. Although, I NEVER treated my 1st like I treated my 2nd treated me. I would do any and everything for my 2nd. Matter of fact, I did his homework, cleaned his house, washed his clothes, cooked him dinner etc etc and the MFer was cheating on me PROBABLY since day 1. I didn’t even KNow ain’t that a BISH. At least in my 1st Love it wasn’t until the last month or so that I cheated. ANYWAY ON TO THE NEXT..I was hurt  but I moved on, it was some sort of forewarning that he was a DOG! How am I talking to your sister on the phone on Thanksgiving and you have another girl there?! Wasn’t I just with your fam last Thanksgiving! TRIFE!

3rd Love How is it possible to fall in love with someone in a matter of weeks. He was my 1st. 1st guy I really fell immediately for. Within weeks I knew I loved him. No it wasn’t lust and matter of fact we weren’t even engaging in sex at that point. But he was THERE, he cared, he listened, he understood my faults and loved me regardless. Or so I thought…if he couldn’t handle me at my worst, than he SURE doesn’t deserve me at my best. Gave him my all and bam “he dumped me” Now aint that a bish! lol

What I have learned from these 3 men is this : You can’t control how you feel but you sure as hell can control how they treat you. I’m so glad I got the chance to love because everyone doesn’t have those same opportunities.

I’ve been single for months. Only a couple dates with a few people that haven’t “hit the spot” and honestly I’m focusing on my newest venture in the world of catering! It would be GREAT to have someone that was by my side and supporting me and helping me! The thing about love is, you have to be willing to spend as much time working on your own goals and your own career as you do working on the relationship and making sure your mate has everything together as well. It’s give and take, its sacrifice its so much. If you want to know about Love read my former blogs.

But I’m saying all this to say, don’t cry over spilled milk. I just cried today because I had an ex (1 of the 3) who decides to leave me vms and Message me but won’t return my messages! Where they do that at. I love him today just as much as I did the 1st day I met him. I have to remind myself you CAN NOT control how you feel. I may be over “us” but his Love consumes me because it was a feeling that won’t ever be replaced. I can’t listen to certain songs, or go certain places because it reminds me of him. Weird as hell considering I’m a G and I don’t do all that emotional stuff. But truth is I have learned to understand my feelings.

I’m embracing my feelings and you should to.  When I broke up with my ex, I cried for DAYS! I mean DAYS, I couldn’t understand how something so “perfect” turned into a fail. But God’s plan isn’t always our plan and I’m glad to know he ORDERS my steps and everything that is supposed to happen has happened and more importantly I have accept the facts and looked at my fears of loneliness, disapproval, forgetfulness and tossed them out. There are done and over. I accept my feelings but I live through them. I’m sleeping with a broken heart but I’m happy!

And its better to have loved than Not loved at all

XOXOXO

Jeneé