We’ve heard the song before! But how many of us really wonder what the lonely do on Christmas DAY? Merry Christmas Everyone! Welcome to the land of the lonely.

So what did this Lonely Lady do on Christmas. Well so far, I’ve cleaned my house from top to bottom. 2 bathrooms, my room, the kitchen, living room, den, and polished the wood. Yeah and its only 12:30. Lol I figure in order to keep myself from feeling lonely, I have to clean till I can’t move! lol

So again I ask what do the lonely do at Christmas. I have many friends who are single, and some who are involved but still feel lonely on this Christmas day. So what is the perfect remedy so that there is no feeling of loneliness on Christmas?

Give love on Christmas Day! This morning I woke up and I won’t ever forget how last year, I was single but I was in the bed with my lil 4-year-old cousin. He woke up @ 5am. I made him sleep till 7. My mom, my aunt, my sister and brother we all woke up and opened gifts. That was a beautiful Christmas morning!

Everywhere we go, there are reminders of love and comfort on Christmas! The songs are all cheery, everyone is out shopping for each other! But what about the homeless people in the world, who only have themselves. Or the girl who has just had a baby and the father is not there anymore. Give love to someone else and I promise you won’t be lonely. Wether its calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, or going to visit a family member you haven’t seen in years. Give love on Christmas DAY!

Regardless of everything going on, I woke up Happy! I finally got the sewing machine I’ve asked for years for, my family is healthy and happy and I have accomplished so much since this time last year.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself this Christmas and feeling lonely because you don’t have the love of someone you want. Be grateful to God that he has blessed you to live another year! Give love to someone else, text your friends (NOT MASS TEXT) and have a great Christmas

Peace and Blessings

Miss. Jenee

As I sit here on this cold and rainy day in Atlanta I’m reading “the Conversation” by Hill Harper. This book is powerful beyond words and that combined with “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” are my favorite books of the year. Mainly because they expound upon the facts of how hard it is to be in a relationships based on such easy rules.

Let me break it down in relationship to Twitter. I’m a very active twitter user. I have over 1k followers and I tweet over 30times a day. I ♡ tweeting because it’s an open exchange of peoples inner thoughts and doings. Long story short, Twitter is so easy, it’s nearly impossible to explain. But when you give the tool of twitter to the right person, it can move them to say things they never said and make all kinds of friends they never even would have been introduced to!

That’s how relationships are. The innermost workings of relationships are very easy. Steve Harvey said it best when he said ” All Men want is, support,♡ and the “Cookie”. Those 3 things sound so easy but they are fundamentally the same things that makes a man leave a woman. She’s not supportive of him and his needs. Men don’t want to admit it but there is nothing better than a woman they can tell their dreams to. Someone they can tell that although they have a job as a mechanic being a teacher one day isn’t a far-fetched idea.  They want a woman who feels like they need them. A woman who goes to her man instead of going to her girlfriends when she has issues in her life.

Men will always “protect, provide and profess” in the words of Steve Harvey.  Providing isn’t about who makes more money it’s about offering emotional, financial and physical support. Being there is 1 of the most important things about being in a relationship. The companionship that a woman provides a man is indescribable.
I’ve heard it time and time again, it matters more to a man if a woman makes herself “available” to him. Not nagging or demanding things from him but creating an open line of communication. Being vulnerable and allowing him to provide and protect you.
I’m not a man and I’m very single so I don’t know it all, but I do know this; ♡ is the only real connective that allows us to not live and die alone. ♡ gives us purpose beyond ourselves. We all live just to be loved eternally.

When did it become so hard to ♡? When did the complexities of our beings make it hard for someone to ♡ us? When do we wake up and realize that ♡ is so pure it heals hurts and provides us with all of our wishes. Why don’t you understand how easy it is to ♡ someone and allow someone to ♡ u. ♡ is easy, relationships are hard.

I’ve been in love before. Matter of fact I have been in love 3 times in my life. It has been other times when I told him “I love you” just because I wanted or needed something but genuine love 3xs.

My 1st love was pure. It was for 2 years when I was in high school. He was in college. All the high school boys HATED me because they kept saying “he doesn’t want a high school girl, he’s cheating on you” Little did they know, that dude LOVED ME, I actually cheated on him before he cheated on me! Sucks I know. But I was 15-17 young and dumb and I didn’t realize how great of a man I had.

My 2nd Love, I guess he was karma from my 1st. It lasted about 2 years too. Although, I NEVER treated my 1st like I treated my 2nd treated me. I would do any and everything for my 2nd. Matter of fact, I did his homework, cleaned his house, washed his clothes, cooked him dinner etc etc and the MFer was cheating on me PROBABLY since day 1. I didn’t even KNow ain’t that a BISH. At least in my 1st Love it wasn’t until the last month or so that I cheated. ANYWAY ON TO THE NEXT..I was hurt  but I moved on, it was some sort of forewarning that he was a DOG! How am I talking to your sister on the phone on Thanksgiving and you have another girl there?! Wasn’t I just with your fam last Thanksgiving! TRIFE!

3rd Love How is it possible to fall in love with someone in a matter of weeks. He was my 1st. 1st guy I really fell immediately for. Within weeks I knew I loved him. No it wasn’t lust and matter of fact we weren’t even engaging in sex at that point. But he was THERE, he cared, he listened, he understood my faults and loved me regardless. Or so I thought…if he couldn’t handle me at my worst, than he SURE doesn’t deserve me at my best. Gave him my all and bam “he dumped me” Now aint that a bish! lol

What I have learned from these 3 men is this : You can’t control how you feel but you sure as hell can control how they treat you. I’m so glad I got the chance to love because everyone doesn’t have those same opportunities.

I’ve been single for months. Only a couple dates with a few people that haven’t “hit the spot” and honestly I’m focusing on my newest venture in the world of catering! It would be GREAT to have someone that was by my side and supporting me and helping me! The thing about love is, you have to be willing to spend as much time working on your own goals and your own career as you do working on the relationship and making sure your mate has everything together as well. It’s give and take, its sacrifice its so much. If you want to know about Love read my former blogs.

But I’m saying all this to say, don’t cry over spilled milk. I just cried today because I had an ex (1 of the 3) who decides to leave me vms and Message me but won’t return my messages! Where they do that at. I love him today just as much as I did the 1st day I met him. I have to remind myself you CAN NOT control how you feel. I may be over “us” but his Love consumes me because it was a feeling that won’t ever be replaced. I can’t listen to certain songs, or go certain places because it reminds me of him. Weird as hell considering I’m a G and I don’t do all that emotional stuff. But truth is I have learned to understand my feelings.

I’m embracing my feelings and you should to.  When I broke up with my ex, I cried for DAYS! I mean DAYS, I couldn’t understand how something so “perfect” turned into a fail. But God’s plan isn’t always our plan and I’m glad to know he ORDERS my steps and everything that is supposed to happen has happened and more importantly I have accept the facts and looked at my fears of loneliness, disapproval, forgetfulness and tossed them out. There are done and over. I accept my feelings but I live through them. I’m sleeping with a broken heart but I’m happy!

And its better to have loved than Not loved at all

XOXOXO

Jeneé

I have been fighting with myself over what to say in my bog lately. I am tired of writing about love. I am over the gossip and the news and I don’t want to reveal my fashion tips for fall quiet yet..

But God has laid it on my heart to blog tonight. When I’m alone and full of emotion my heart expounds with Love. True Love, for myself and for those who read my blogs. Truth is, I started this blog for YOU. Yes YOU reading right now. I started it so that you wouldn’t make the same mistakes that I have and so that you wouldn’t have to endure the same pain that I have felt. And it has felt good. My ex learned a lot about me through reading this blog, I have had strangers tell me they NEEDED some of my postings and I have relieved some major heartbreak and heartache through my stories in this blog. But 1 thing is for sure is that the BEST IS YET TO COME!

Since I got dumped (Yes, I’m transparent a HELL) I haven’t been out. Not because I can’t but because my desire to meet new people is pretty much non-existent. I don’t like the cat and mouse chase. Yes I get approached every where I go and YES I am so GRATEFUL that God made me beautiful but it annoys me that I CAN’T just go pick up my mom or go to the grocery or even DRIVE without a man trying to holla at me. Why can’t you just enjoy my beauty, say hello and move on. I am not even the type that is approachable and that is usually my downfall when it comes to meeting people who really are deserving.

I’ve dated all kinds of men, post-graduate degree men, preachers, lawyers, athletes, musicians,artist, barbers/hair stylists. etc. But 1 thing I’ve learned is that a job doesn’t make a man. I have given the men I loved inspiration to start and continue businesses, done homework for them while in grad school and I have even cleaned  their homes from top to bottom. I’ve gotten thank you and Gifts but nothing is more powerful than the love I have gotten in return. The thing is I couldn’t be with an athlete or a musician because I require time and attention. Buying my love does NOT work. I deserve a man who has a very personal relationship with God, works, takes care of  his child (if they have 1) and takes care of me!

For so long I wanted a man like my family/ friends told me I should have. 1 that is a college graduate, 1 without children, 1 who grew up with ‘things” but truth of the matter is all I want is a man who loves me. I have yet to find a man that is like what everyone wanted me to have that loved me for me.

I don’t care if you drive a Honda or a Hummer . If you work at UPS or Merrill Lynch. All I care about is if you love me and would take care of me. Everything else will work itself out. I’d rather push a man to start his own business than deal with a man who has everything and never worked for anything a day in their life! Just a hard working black man who understands I have expensive taste, I like to have nice things and I will work hard to get them as long as he works hard with me.

It saddens me that I have friends that wont date a guy because of his income bracket. But how would you feel if a man told you he didn’t want to date you because you make $35k and he makes $1.5million a year?  Double standards kill me! Steve Harvey said it best when he said “IF a Man loves you, he will always Profess, Provide and Protect” If a man doesn’t try his hardest to provide for you he doesn’t love you in the 1st place. So my thing is go for the man who loves you and is willing to work with you FLAWS and ALL.

I know he’s coming to my life, so I’m sure he’s coming to yours!

Love and Blessings

Miss.Jenee

Love is the 1 WORD in the entire universe that everyone wants to define but rarely understands

Love is the 1 WORD that people long for their entire lives, can’t live without and grow up trying to obtain

Love is.. you … love is me.. love is my lil cousin Bradley when he’s hugging my neck.. Love is birds chirping..Love is a simple melody.. Love is inside of each one of us

But what is love? How do you define love in a simple definition? I propose that in order to Love you must know God because God is love.

Contrary to popular belief Love is not an emotion, it isn’t the jitters you get when someone you admire walks into the room, love isn’t about kissing and hugging and “making love”. Love is a personification of God’s love shown to us.

The bible shows us exactly what love is in

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This is the definition of love. So often we get caught up on the “feelings” of love and not the actual understanding of love.

I’ve been “in love” a few times, and it was always about feeling, until recently. I was at my lowest point,  and Love found me. I had to have a surgery, Love was there. Love came to church with me, Love listened to me, Love encouraged me, Love understood my flaws. This time Love was real. I gave Love my last and love didn’t even know it..But then I lost Love.. No I didn’t fall out of Love, but Love left me…As quickly as I found Love, Love decided they didn’t want to Love anymore…Yes it hurt and will probably hurt for years to come because Love was good to me, and it wasn’t an emotion but rather a personification of Love that was always in my heart.

Thing about Love is, its not as simple to some as it is to others. Yes, I’ve been hurt and I’ve wanted to not love. But I know that God is the giver of LOVE and the taker of all things and every pure and perfect thing comes from GOD! I embrace Love because I encompass Love!

In the vows that people make when  they get married it never speaks of emotions or feelings it speaks directly to agape love:

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.”

The vows are a promise between God, and the couple. That regardless of the emotions either are encountering that they will ALWAYS be there for each other.  Do you love your mate that much? To be with him/her after he/she has lost everything, to be with them and ALWAYS support them? That’s what love is, LOVE IS ALWAYS there, Love is giving, love is the maker of all things new!Love can only grow in an atmosphere of honesty.

All anyone wants in life is love. So the next time you tell someone you love them, make sure you understand what love is and how powerful true love is.  I pray that God sends you real love and I pray that he sends it to me too!

I know I am opening up a can of worms but I figure WHY NOT!

People my age 22-30 don’t go to church. Church has become a very taboo thing in my generation because they automatically think a person judges them once they walk in the church. Although, I am a very devoted church goer, I believe church folks can be some of the worse folks. But what makes church people so “different” from every other person in this world. People are so quick to say “I’m spiritual, I’m not religious”  Did you not know that Christianity is a RELIGION. THE only way you can go to heaven is if you are saved and you ask God to forgive you of your sins? Muslims don’t believe in heaven or hell, Buddist don’t either. So your “Religion” is Christianity even if you make up your own self taught theology, you are religious if you believe in Jesus and Heaven/Hell

Here are my main points of why we need to attend church

1. Your mind gets so caught up in people, places and things when you are at home. Yes Its ok to pray and read your bible and be able to have your own worship at home in front of the computer or TV with many of the televangelist but the easiest place to “Find” God and encounter God is when you are at a place where you can COMPLETELY focus on him! How many times have you tried to watch a Televangelist on TV or on Youtube and been distracted? When you are in the house of the Lord, your only choice is to focus on him. Our thoughts get so confused and wrapped up when we are at home we end up confusing ourselves.

2. To be Around like minded people. I know you are thinking people will “judge” you when you attend church. But let me tell you church folks are the ones who know that regardless of my situation God is going to be there. He said “come as you are” meaning come even when you were drunk the night before or even when you cussed out your entire family before you left the house. God wants you t0 have peace in your heart. Believe it or not people in church have been through the same things you have been through if not worse and God has brought them through!!

3. To tithe. yes I said it, tithing is a beautiful thing! EVERYTHING comes from God, that Job, your check EVERYTHING comes from God. It is only right if you give him a measly 10%. You spend more than that on a cell phone bill! I gave a testimony at church on yesterday. The sum of the testimony was: even with being laid off I have given  my tithes and my offerings because every dollar I get is coming for the Lord and as a result I have continually been blessed! I have NO idea how I am able to afford or do the things I do without a job or a real income but the LORD has provided me with more than enough and for that I am grateful. How can a church pay its bills without tithes or feed the hungry or visit the sick. Do you realize when you die, there is going to be a preacher who prays over your body and flowers etc. Why wait on the day of your funeral why not have a pastor and a church family who loves you be there for you?

I know some of the hardest parts of making the decision to attend church is because you feel like you aren’t “Doing right” b ut let me tell you, you will NEVER be doing right! You will never be perfect and time is not yours to determine only Gods! You never know the second, minute or hour God will take you from this earth. And as I am writing this I pray that God blesses each of those who read this to become saved. Being saved is the ONLY way to go to heaven. Its not really about church or reading the bible or anything else but confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart that Jesus is a living sacrifice. Understanding and asking God to forgive you of your sins because he sent his ONLY son Jesus to save us from our sins so that we can have eternal life!

Have you ever wondered why people treat you like shit? Have you ever wondered why you haven’t found 1 person that really understands you?  Thats because your actions are contradicting your desires! Do you treat yourself the way you want others to treat you?  Do you complain that all men are dogs but then wonder why you are single?

When u want to attract something into your life, make sure your actions don’t contradict your desires! Whatever you want you can have if you have a positive attitude about it! How can someone genuinely love you if you don’t love yourself? How can someone come into your life if you don’t allow them room to? When we close ourselves off to the world we are contradicting the fact that we want to meet new people or we want to have successful relationships.

For the longest I wondered why every relationship I was in was not a good one, men would cheat on me, lie to me and manipulate me in every way possible. I would always wonder was I really that bad of a person that they wouldn’t want to treat me the right way. But truth of the matter is, I was allowing them to treat me that way. You can’t control how you feel  but you can always control how someone treats you. No matter how far they pushed I didn’t love myself enough to let them go.

When I was finally happy with myself and had a sincere peace of mind in my very own being God sent a man that loved and cared for me into my life. I loved myself so much that God sent a man that couldn’t help but to love me for me! We have to be willing if God is going to move in our lives. Our hearts, our thoughts and our actions have to show God that we don’t just want a mate or a job but that we are willing to work hard at making sure the gift he gives us is successful!

The only job that you have in life is you! It isn’t about what others believe its about what you believe, how you feel about yourself and not contradicting it with your actions! How can you say “I’m fat” but then wonder why everyone around you talks about your weight. Once you are confident in your own weight, height God will open up the effect. Your thoughts are the cause and you must be willing to open your heart to loving yourself.

Unless you fill yourself up with LOVE first than you won’t have anything to give to anyone! Learn to love yourself harddd and fully! We are responsible for our own happiness, when you are happy you are a joy to be around! We have many aspects  of our lives and personalities that are strong & weak. We make sacrifices for others but it’s totally up to you! When you make sure you don’t sacrifice your own happiness and make your own being is whole the overflowing of blessings. Make a choice to inhabit the strongest u. Your life will reflect the choice!

If you know me, you know I love writing and talking about spiritual and “Deep” things but sometimes I get tired and want to be “ghetto”. However, Holy Spirit has her own way of making sure I write blogs for other people and not just my own crazy desires.. lol Lately I have wanted to speak about desires of the heart and the spiritual connections we share.

I live by the quote “People are sent into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”  I believe that everyone is sent into your life for a reason but not always for a lifetime. Sometimes we have messed up our future by allowing seasonal people to remain in our lives for a lifetime. 

Mixing seasonal people with life expectations can create major disappointment. It’s just like drug users, when they get clean they don’t need to go back to being around other drug dealers. Same thing in our lives! We have to know when to fight for the people that need to be in our lives and leave those alone who don’t deserve to be in our lives.

Its hard with the human eye and feeling to determine who is just a SEASONAL personal and who is a LIFETIME person. Sometimes I get confused but when a person shows themselves to you believe them. If a person does not make you feel good when you are around them, or they aren’t accepting of who you are then you need to leave. I have always been alert to facts that you either accept your friends as they are or don’t be their friends at all.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They are sent in your life by God!  They are there for a reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.  Those seasonal people are the ones you love for a life time and continue to grow with forever.

I’m working on gaining knowledge and allowing God to send me lifetime people instead of always assuming they are seasonal people..

One of my Favorite songs in the whole world is Flaws and All by Beyonce

The lyrics are:

I’m a train wreck in the morning
I’m a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you

I’m a puzzle yes indeed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren’t even in the box
And yet you see the picture clear as day

I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that’s why I love you

I neglect you when I’m working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I’m a host of imperfection
And you see past all that

I’m a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I’m a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that’s exactly what I need

I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that’s why I love you

These lyrics have been in my head for days. Literally everyday for the past 3 days I have been singing this song.  I cried a little while singing this song because I really exemplify it. Yes I always need attention so when I don’t have it, I nag. Yes, without warning I can be a total bitch and just be mean to you. But thats me. It doesn’t mean I’m seriously mad at you or that I just dislike you, it just mean either with hormones, emotions or because I am having a bad day I may just be mean to you. But please believe if I love you and I want you around that “meanness” will go away in your presence. But thats ME. I try my hardest to be nice when I’m going through my “stuff” but the devil really gets the best of me. But thats what love is all about. Accepting a person flaws and all.

People do the craziest things: Example I had a friend who used to shave his hair and leave hair ALL over ther floor! His girlfriend HATED it but she always swept up after him because he really never learned how. Another example, my friend used to constantly talk about how fat she was, to me and everyone else she was not “fat” she was just “healthy” her boyfriend did everything in his power help her see that she was “perfect” for him. Eventually she stopped calling herself fat, lost weight and really understood what he had been saying the entire time. Those are flaws, none of us are perfect. Ever.

Yes I cook, I clean, Im a HELL of a business woman but I can get insane sometimes and be totally mean for no reason.. Thats my flaw, some people have left me because of it, some have  ignored it, some people just dealt with it..because they knew it was temporary.  Somebody is crazy to love me like this, but someone will. Someone will really love me for me and I know it!  Love endures all.

Have you ever been in a pissy mood at work and then you go on lunch and you talk to the person you love and all becomes better? Or you have had a rough couple of days and the person you really, really love surprises you and shows up. All that hurt and upset you had with yourself and even displayed with that person erases.

Thats what love is, love is being able to accept someone flaws and all. Not everyone can handle my nags, some take it as nagging while whomever becomes my husband will understand its only  because I really need to be around him and want attention from him.

Love catches you when you fall, love understands the hurt you have felt before and love works hard to make it better. Even more importantly Love knows that the meanness or the nagging is just a shadow for something deeper.

My mom’s sermon this morning came right on time! In her message she said: “Our so called begging is our God-given ability to petition. We know how to ask some questions. We are petitioners by nature. our so called nagging is not nagging, it’s called persistence.  It’s the tenaciousness, that makes women not take no for an answer.Our pain is our power, not because it causes you to pay attention, but because it draws us closer to God. Human beings are the only species that cry emotional tears. women have to cry sometimes cause the men in our lives wont ever cry during their pain”

The thing with our pain and our persistance and  our pertitions is that they all are rooted innately in us. I got pain, my best friend got pain, my sister got pain, even my mama as a Rev. has pain. But its our job as women to hide the pain because we have to be strong for our men.

But sometimes the world has whipped us so that the pain  takes over us and we let satan win! Thats a flaw in our human makeup…Not every man can deal with a woman crying, or nagging or being persistent. But the man that God sends for you will understand thats your flaw and love you flaws and all..

Beyonce found Jay’z. Beyonce lays her FLAWS out plain in this song. Shoot I know some of you who wouldn’t even DATE Jay’Z because you think he is ugly! Or Beyonce because as soon as she spent one day away from you she starting nagging about seeing you again!  Barack found Michelle! He was her INTERN, he smoked cigarettes and he didn’t even want to MARRY her.Their flaws make them who they are and look at  them they are SOULMATES! They loved each other and were willing to accept each other FLAWS AND ALL!

My pain, my nagging and my attitude will subside and trust me I’ve learned from doing it in a previous relationship! No man wants to hear that all the time especially when he has his own issues!!  But my love will always remain..As the love of my life I pray hope whomever gets involved with me sees that!

I’m praying and I know God will send that kind of man into my life! I pray more that you won’t settle and understand that there is a man or woman that will accept you FLAWS and All and love you at your BEST and at your WORST

“I’m a puzzle yes indeed, ever complex in EVERY WAY”

I have been missing from my blog, I haven’t had a chance to discover “personal” testaments that I may share that will enrich your daily lives. I am still growing and going in the Lord.

When I looked at my e-mail message and a Fwd popped on the screen I immediately opened it but did not read it. I am NOT a fan of Fwd and I rarely read them. But the spirit of God lead me to open this message. In this message I received from my dear friend and sister Angel it spoke of KNOWING if he/she is the 1. It was written by Pastor Creflo Dollar whom I usually don’t agree with in his prosperity teachings. He was right on time with this message. Here are his words on my blog! The Main points that made me click was the man being the provider and head of the household. My grandma always told me “baby, he doesn’t have to really “Be”  in control just let him think he is. It’s hard as women to take a step back especially with me being so strong and the oldest of 3. I always want to be the boss. But that tidbit of information was very important to me. Even if the woman makes more money or has a closer relationship with God, its up to the man to initiate the leadership in the household/relationship. Its his job to make sure the bills are paid, kids are taken care of, YOU are taken care of. Its his job to make sure you attend bible study and church. If you are doing all the initiating he needs to man up and take  responsibilty as the man of the household!

Hopefully this will free a woman/man from a situation they are in that is toxic and not right!

Be Blessed!

How Do You Know When You Found The Right Man/Woman, That God Has  Chosen

Powerful message by Minister Creflo Dollar

This question is a valid one and many of us have asked the same thing.
Some of us who didn’t ask the question have suffered tremendously because we  choose a mate. I want to begin answering the question by saying this -God does not “choose” a mate for you. This is a misconception that many of us have as believers. God makes “presentations – It’s up to you to choose.”

The Lord doesn’t make choices like that for us. He doesn’t even make
the choice for us to be saved. We have to “choose ye this day whom we will serve.” If God doesn’t force salvation on us, He certainly will not
force a mate on us. So, I’m so sorry to tell you, you can’t put it on God. The choice is yours. That being said, God will certainly not have us
ignorant.

While He does not choose our mates, He “presents” potential mates who,based on His infinite knowledge, He feels will meet our needs. My, my, my, If I’d only listened to the leading of the Holy Ghost and not my flesh.. But that’s another story…. Moving right along. I also want to add that it just as important to be the right person as it is to choose the right person.

If you are not all you need to be, even if God were to send the right
man/woman, you could not be in a position to receive him/her. You won’t know how to treat him/her, take to him/her, love him/her, comfort him/her, support him/her, nurture him/her etc.

Ladies, I’m going to help the brothers out a little! bit. Some ladies say
we want a good man, with a good job, handsome, built. Don’t get mad with me now, but are you where you need to be? Are you a good woman with a good job? Do you make yourself attractive and do you keep yourself in shape? Or are you living beneath your privilege a spoiled, big mouth, loud, unruly woman who never combs your hair, your fingernails are dirty and you got runs in your stockings and scuff marks on your shoes? Lawd, y’all ain’t gon’like me today. That’s alright. You just need to be honest with yourself. You want a man who looks like Denzel, shaped like Wesley Snipes, and paid like Michael Jordan, but you don’t keep yourself up, shaped like Miss Piggy,and your credit is so bad you can’t buy a tube of toothpaste on credit. Did I say something about credit? (Lawd, let me leave that credit thang
alone!)

But seriously, you’ve got to bring something to the table too. What do
you have to offer this wonderful brother that you’re believing in God for? One has to be honest with one’s self. Now, after you have examined
yourself, ask yourself some basic questions about the man you’re considering:

*1. Is He/She Saved?*

That’s the first question you need to ask.
If not, that person is not the one and if you think he or she is the
one, then that might be the person, but not the one right now. You need to wait. The Bible clearly states that women are to be submissive to our husbands. It is difficult to submit to a man who is not submissive to God. He is not equipped to lead you. I don’t care how much money he makes, what kind of house he lives in, what kind of car he drives, or what’s in his bank account. If he does not know Jesus, he is not the one.

*2. Do you have the same beliefs?*

If you don’t believe in speaking in tongues, does he/she believe this
too? If you are a woman minister, does he believe in women preachers? (Some brothas have a hard time with this one….) What was his/her
religious/spiritual up bringing? Does he greet people by saying “Praise
the Lord” or does he say “Assalaamalaikum”? Would either of those bother you?

*3. Do you have the same interests?*

I know a couple of sistas that happen to love to read, sing, write,
watch soap operas, talk shows etc. But, in a minute, they will beat any man to the TV for a good football game, boxing match, and basketball game. Most men can appreciate that! What things do you have in common?

*4. Is he/she interested in you?*

Do you have to call all the time? Go see him/her all the time? Initiate
all communications? If so, the brotha/sister don’t want you. I just have to make it plain. If you have to do all the calling, all the writing, and take all the initiative, just face facts and move on. Don’t run behind him/her chasing them, because even if he/she is a little bit interested, that will turn him/her off. A person with some determination knows how to pursue what they want. If it’s you they want, he/she knows where you are. You have too much to offer somebody to be playing cat and mouse.

*5. Can he support you? (THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES.)*

“Can he pay your bills…can he pay your telephone bill…can he pay
your automobile…” or is he a “Triflin’ good for nothin’ type of brotha…”
It sounds like the women are gold diggers and for a woman of the world that might be the case, but we’re talking about what the Bible says.
According to the Word, the man is supposed to be the head-IN EVERYTHING! Some men want to be the head until it’s time to pay bills. When it’s time to pay bills then we all equal. We are all one in the Spirit. Man, please! Ask the man ifhe can and is willing to supp! ort you ! ! if necessary. He might get mad,and if he does “he ain’t the one.” If a man is not willing to provide for you,he doesn’t think very much of you. Leave him alone. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t work, but if you work, it should be because of your choice,not of necessity. I’m in the book, y’all. Don’t get mad with me.

Then ask yourself some basic questions:

* Is this a person you want to see naked for the rest of your life?
* Are you physically attracted to him?
* Does he/she have other children? If so, are you ready to be a parent to children you didn’t birth?
* Is he/she your spiritual equal or greater?

Ask yourself these and other questions and be honest. Listen to the
voice of the Holy Spirit and let things line up with the Word of God.

*   Does he/she fit the bill?

*   Will he love you as Christ loves the church?

*   Will she willingly submit to you?

*   Will he be your provider, protector, comforter, nurturer, and a godly head?

*   Will she be your helpmate?

If you feel good about the answers to your questions, then pray about it and trust God. Chances are, you’ve got the right one! If not, keep waiting. It’s better to be single for a little while longer than marry the wrong person and head to divorce court. 

Hope this has done you some good. “Often the most difficult part of
faith is when no more action can be taken and nothing remains but to wait patiently for God to work out His will. It is at this moment that doubts arise  and anxiety creeps in.